"Jesus died for your sins!" - If you're an ex-fundamentalist, you've probably heard that more times than you can count. This has always been confusing to me and honestly I would bet it's confusing to most people. It's one of those things that's just drilled into your head and you learn to accept that it makes total sense, as long as you don't think about it. I mean, what did I do?
The idea is that Adam and Eve were created as perfect humans. But despite their perfectness, they made an imperfect decision to eat the fruit of the one forbidden tree - after Eve had a conversation with a "crafty" snake. Because of this, we were all born as sinners and therefore not worthy of being close to God. God of course understands this so he sends his son, who is really God, down to Earth to be birthed by a 12-14 year old virgin girl. After Jesus is born, he lives a perfectly sinless life and because of that he is the ultimate sacrifice to wash away the sins of the world. Makes sense, right?
The parts about the perfect people making a bad decision, the talking snake, and the virgin girl giving birth are hard enough to swallow so usually there's a lot of emphasis put on the part about Jesus' sacrifice. Without ever proving Jesus lived a sinless life, this is still an effective method for retaining believers because it's a form of guilt manipulation. Most of us have a conscience and most of us know that we aren't perfect. We all can think of times where we said things we shouldn't have said, did things we wished we didn't do, and times we basically were crappy people. It doesn't even have to be something really awful for us to feel bad about our actions. Something as simple as lying about brushing our teeth can weigh heavy on our conscience. The idea that we are born as sinners can be easy to accept to anyone who acknowledges they've done something bad (especially children). Because of that, the idea that Jesus had to die a brutal death to make up for our sins easily preys on our innate human conscience. This guilt manipulation can distract us from thinking critically about the story.
When faced with the threat of eternal torture most people react instinctually. They want to do whatever it takes to avoid that future. Many people don't need to be convinced that they have done things God may be upset about, so they are willing to accept stories that offer a solution. Maybe you were taught all of this since early childhood, when your mind was easily malleable and your imagination was powerful. Many ex-fundamentalists reject the ideas of Hell and eternal torture, but the fear programmed into them during childhood remains. Alongside guilt manipulation, fundamentalism expertly uses fear manipulation to retain members. Fundamentalism teaches that there's a place called Hell and it's the opposite of Heaven. Instead of living forever with Jesus in the clouds you will be tortured for all eternity by the Devil. Ideas of Hell range anywhere from an eternal lake of fire, to demons enacting medieval torture techniques, to living in a place void of all love and light, where God never goes. Fire and brimstone preachers love this topic. Some of the sermons I've heard are incredibly imaginative and morbid. To a young child, this is absolutely terrifying and many people still have night terrors about going to Hell, long after their adult selves have rejected the idea intellectually. This fear manipulation takes the natural fear of death and makes it much, much worse. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses, the religion I was raised in, use this fear manipulation. They may not believe in an eternal lake of fire, but they teach that if you die without earning God's love you will be eternally destroyed. They say it will be like you never even existed. Some may say that doesn't sound as bad as being tortured for all eternity, but I can assure you it is still a very terrifying thought to a child. Trying to imagine what it would be like to never exist, while everyone you know is continuing on living in paradise caused me many sleepless nights.
Fundamentalism teaches that you must reject yourself because "the self" is inherently bad and untrustworthy. The first step in converting people is to destroy their faith in themselves. Your confidence in your own judgement and thinking is shattered and then you are left open to indoctrination because you have been convinced you cannot trust your own thinking. Your thoughts are deceiving, your emotions are invalid, and your basic nature is evil. These are the things you have been taught. Most converts are people who were particularly vulnerable when they came into contact with missionaries or were people who were born into fundamentalism, left, and then returned later in life because of hardships.
All of this compounds and adds up and makes it very easy for someone to accept the story of original sin because the problems they see in themselves feel insurmountable. The ridiculous claims of the inherent depravity of the self can only be solved by something even more ridiculous. Outrageous claims require something that feels even more outrageous to counteract them, because of the extreme confusion and lack of self confidence these teachings cause.
Anyone who has left fundamentalism and is seeking help is a very courageous person. Relearning to think for yourself, to trust your intuition, to understand and honor your emotions, and to open yourself up for authentic human connection is a long and frustrating process. Losing your faith can be illustrated as all of a sudden someone turns on a light switch, and immediately everything you thought was black is now white, what you thought was up is now down. It's also like being a fish that's only lived in a fishbowl being suddenly plopped into the ocean. The teachings of original sin, Christ's crucifixion, and eternal Hellfire completely destroy one's trust in themselves and puts their salvation on supernatural forces that they ultimately have nothing to do with. Fundamentalism creates a mental prison but escape is possible... even if it doesn't feel that way at first.
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